小學(xué)爆笑英語笑話大全
要是有一則笑話解決不了的事，那就兩則笑話，看笑話，能讓我們變得開心，今天小編為大家準(zhǔn)備了小學(xué)爆笑英語笑話大全，歡迎閱讀!
小學(xué)爆笑英語笑話一：Photo 我老婆的照片
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
一個生意人走進(jìn)一家酒館，在吧臺坐下，點(diǎn)了一杯加冰的雙料martini。喝完，那生意人往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)員把杯子滿上。喝完，生意人又往自己襯衣的口袋里瞥了一眼，然后又讓服務(wù)生幫他把杯子滿上。這時(shí)酒館的服務(wù)生說話了，“呃，老兄，我整個晚上給你倒martini都沒有問題，但你得告訴我，你為什么在點(diǎn)下一杯酒前都要往自己襯衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。生意人回答，“我看的是我老婆的一張照片。如果照片上的人開始變得好看起來，那就說明我喝得差不多了，該回家了。”
小學(xué)爆笑英語笑話二：瞌睡者
The preacher was vexed(生氣的) because a certain member of his congregation(集會，圣會) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of hisvoiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start(嚇一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(講道壇) , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧師非常生氣，因?yàn)榭傆幸粋�人在他說教時(shí)打瞌睡。一個星期天，正當(dāng)坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時(shí)，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在布道時(shí)睡覺。于是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當(dāng)然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐后，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的.看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什么，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”
小學(xué)爆笑英語笑話三：My Husband Will Be Home Soon
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a *y little voice...
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
我丈夫馬上就要回來了
一個已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時(shí)，女朋友要求他剃去胡須。
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的胡子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”
詹姆斯回答說，“我的妻子喜歡我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。”
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說道。
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這胡子。”
在女朋友再三請求下，他終于屈服同意了。夜里，在妻子熟睡時(shí)，詹姆斯爬上了床。
妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應(yīng)該在這里，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。”
小學(xué)爆笑英語笑話四：Goldfish
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養(yǎng)它們?
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時(shí)怎么辦?
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛!
【小學(xué)爆笑英語笑話大全】相關(guān)文章：
爆笑小學(xué)英語笑話大全11-17
小學(xué)英語爆笑笑話大全09-01
小學(xué)生英語笑話大全爆笑11-30
英語笑話大全 爆笑100009-18
英語笑話大全爆笑對話05-19
英語笑話大全爆笑故事10-27
關(guān)于英語笑話大全爆笑05-19
英語笑話大全爆笑超短10-26
簡短英語笑話大全爆笑10-25