英語短篇小笑話故事

時間：2020-10-23 17:33:10 英語笑話我要投稿

英語短篇小笑話故事

　　經常講一些笑話，不僅能給自己到來快樂，還能感染他人，這里小編收集整理了英語短篇小笑話故事，一起來看看吧!

英語短篇小笑話故事

　　英語短篇小笑話故事一：Topless Gambling

　　Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

　　She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm topless."

　　With that she strips naked from the waist up, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new blouse!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers.

　　"YES! I WIN! I WIN!"

　　With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves.

　　The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"

　　英語短篇小笑話故事二：Blonde Getting A Haircut

　　This blond goes in to a salon to get her hair cut. She's wearing a pair of headphones, and the stylist says that he can't cut her hair with the headphones on.

　　She replies "No, you have to cut around the headphones, I can't take them off".

　　They argue about this for a few minutes, he finally agrees to cut her hair around the headphones, but he will have to charge her extra. She says, "That's ok, go ahead and cut it".

　　So he cuts her hair, and although it looks strange because of the headphones, she's happy with it. So a few weeks later she comes in again.

　　Again she wants her hair cut around the headphones. He says, "No way, not this time, this time I'm taking the headphones off".

　　So he takes off the headphones and throws them on the floor. He starts cutting her hair, and a few minutes later, she falls out of the chair to the floor, dead.

　　He wonders what in the world is happening, so he picks up the headphones and puts them on.

　　He hears "breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... breathe out..."

　　英語短篇小笑話故事三：Entering Heaven

　　One day, heaven is beginning to fill up (due to the population explosion), so St. Peter decides to ask each person a question about the bible before they can enter. Three men stand at the pearly gates, waiting to get into heaven.

　　"How many wise men were there?" St. Peter asks the first man. "Three." He answers, and thetrumpets sound, the gates open, and the first man enters.

　　"How long did the flood last?" St. Peter asks the second man. "Forty days and forty nights." He answers, and the trumpets sound, the gates open and the second man enters.

　　Seeing how easily the first two answered his trivia, St. Peter thinks of a much more difficult question for the second man. Finally, he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam in the Garden?"

　　The man thinks and thinks, but can't come up with an answer. "Boy, that's a hard one," he finally says. And the trumpets blow, the gates open, and the last man enters heaven.

　　英語短篇小笑話故事四：George Bush's Love Doctors

　　George W. Bush's wonderful gaffes and mangling of the English language has made him one of the most quoted US presidents in history, and launched a whole new generation ofquotation books.

　　Here is one of his latest - and will surely rank as one of the greatest - Bushisms. It was spoken at a rally in Poplar Bluff in Missouri on September 6, 2004. He was referring to the issue offrivolous lawsuits running up the cost of health care, which he claims are driving obstetricians and gynecologists out of business.

　　"We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their" - there is a pregnant pause, as he gropes for the right word - "their love, with women all across the country."

　　American women are probably very relieved that these kind of 'love doctors' are being put out of business.

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