英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典段子合輯
看一些英語(yǔ)笑話，既能讓我們學(xué)到不少英語(yǔ)知識(shí)，也能變得開(kāi)心，今天我們就一起來(lái)看看英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典段子合輯吧!
英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典段子合輯(一)
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith", the boss replies, "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
一天，史密斯去見(jiàn)他的客戶部領(lǐng)導(dǎo)，“老板”，斯密斯說(shuō)，“我們家明天要大搞清潔，我老婆需要我回去幫忙清潔閣樓和車(chē)庫(kù)，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我們現(xiàn)在人手已經(jīng)不夠了”老板說(shuō)，“明天的假我是沒(méi)法給你批了”。“多謝老板，”史密斯說(shuō)，“我就知道跟著您干準(zhǔn)沒(méi)錯(cuò)”。
英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典段子合輯(二)
Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.
"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"
"What?"
"I'm not even thirsty!"
臨死之前，斯坦尼斯被他摯愛(ài)的家人包圍著。知道自己的最后時(shí)刻就要來(lái)了，他拿出所有力氣，輕聲耳語(yǔ)，“我必須告訴你們一個(gè)最大的秘密。”他的家人催他趕緊說(shuō)。
斯坦尼斯說(shuō)，“在我結(jié)婚之前，我什么都有：靚車(chē)，美女，還有大把大把的錢(qián)。但是一個(gè)好朋友警告我說(shuō)，‘你應(yīng)該結(jié)婚，建立一個(gè)家庭，否則當(dāng)你奄奄一息躺在床上時(shí)，都沒(méi)個(gè)人會(huì)為你端茶倒水。’于是我聽(tīng)取了他的建議，離開(kāi)了姑娘們，娶了一個(gè)妻子。我不再把錢(qián)花在啤酒上，而是留下來(lái)給孩子們買(mǎi)吃的.。我賣(mài)掉了我的法拉利，投資了大學(xué)基金。所以現(xiàn)在才有了你們。可你們知道嗎?”
“知道什么?”
“我現(xiàn)在一點(diǎn)都不渴啊!”
英語(yǔ)笑話經(jīng)典段子合輯(三)
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate(生氣的) customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在郵局上班，對(duì)于顧客們的各種情緒早已習(xí)以為常了。所以，有一天當(dāng)一個(gè)生氣的顧客氣沖沖地來(lái)到我的工作臺(tái)時(shí)，我還是非常平靜地問(wèn)她，“有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”“我早上上街了，”女顧客說(shuō)，“我回到家的時(shí)候，我看到一個(gè)卡片，卡片說(shuō)郵遞員要給我們家送包裹，但沒(méi)人在家。可是我的丈夫整個(gè)早上都在家啊。他說(shuō)他什么都沒(méi)聽(tīng)到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹給了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顧客喜形于色。“我們等這東西都等多少年了!”“是什么好東西?”我問(wèn)。“我丈夫的新助聽(tīng)器”。
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