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最新英語笑話幽默網文

時間:2024-11-23 02:44:20 英語笑話 我要投稿
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最新英語笑話幽默網文

  Psychiatrist

最新英語笑話幽默網文

  Jerry went to a psychiatrist.

  "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.

  Every time I get into bed,

  I think there's somebody under it.

  I'm going crazy!"

  Just put yourself in my hands for one year,"

  said the shrink.

  "Come to me three times a week,

  and I'll cure your fears.

  " How much do you charge?"

  A hundred dollars per visit.

  " I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

  Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.

  "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?"

  asked the psychiatrist.

  For a hundred bucks a visit?

  The bartender cured me for $10."

  "Is that so!

  How?

  " He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

  Ain't nobody under there now!!!

  杰瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生,我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候,我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”

  “給我一年時間,”醫生說,“每周來三次,我會治好你。”

  “費用是多少呢?”

  “每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。

  六個月后醫生和杰瑞在街上相遇了,“為什么你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。

  “一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”

  “真的?他怎么做到的?”

  An Entrance Examination

  入學考試

  In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music,the teacher asked one of the boys,"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”

  在一次音樂學院的入學考試中,老師問一位應試的小伙子:“音樂家最重要的生理素質是什么?”

  "To be deaf,”replied the boy.

  “耳聾。”小伙子回答說。

  "Nonsense”said the teacher angrily

  “胡說!”老師憤怒地說。

  "Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

  “怎么了,先生!您難道連鼎鼎大名的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子都不知道嗎?”小伙子輕蔑地反問道。

  Visiting A Chicken Farm

  參觀養雞場

  One day,a teacher took his pupils to a chicken farm to pay a visit. When they came near the incubator,a chick just got out of it’s eggshell.

  老師帶學生到養雞場參觀,當他們走近孵化器時,剛好一只小雞破殼而出。

  "It's wonderful to see a little thing come out from the eggshell,isn't it's it?”the teacher said.

  “看見一個小生命從蛋殼里出來,很奇妙,是不是?”老師說。

  "Yes,sir,"said one of the boys,“But it would be more wonderful if we knew that how a chick gets into its eggshell beforehand.”

  “是的,老師,”一個男學生說,“可是,如果我們知道它是怎樣事先鉆進蛋殼里的那就更奇妙了。”

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