英語的笑話

關于英語的笑話集錦

　　導語：愛笑的人運氣總不會太差，，這里小編收集整理了一些英語笑話，說不定能點中你的笑穴哦。

　　1.Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

　　2.One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

　　3. One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition——If I am a manager.

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

　　4. Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.

　　Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.

　　5.Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

　　"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

　　"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

　　"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

　　6.one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk."

　　"but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!"

　　翻譯

　　1.老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學遲到?湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"

　　2.一天，一位大學心理學教授向他的新生們問候。他站在學生們的面前說：“如果哪位同學認為自己傻，就請站起來。” 大約過了一分鐘，一位年輕人站了起來。教授說：“嗨，你好。你真的認為自己是個低能兒么?” 這個孩子回答道：“不是的，先生，我只是不忍心看著只有你自己站在這里。”

　　3.一天課上，老師要同學們以“如果我是一個經理”為題寫一篇作文。

　　所有的學生都在動筆寫了，只有一個男生例外。老師走過去問他為什么不寫。

　　“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。

　　4.醫生：聽上去你咳嗽今天好多了。

　　病人：應該如此。我昨晚練習了一整夜

　　5.一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。

　　"大夫!"他說，"幫幫我!一個月前我吞了一分硬幣!"

　　"天哪，"大夫說，"早干嘛去了?你當時怎么不來看?"

　　"實話告訴您吧，大夫，"窮人說，"我當時還不缺錢!"

　　6.一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。”

　　“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”

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